Oxford 2022: A Tour Manager’s Diary

T-2

Slightly dodgy weather forecast for the weekend but all fixtures confirmed and 11 players for each match. No injuries reported. Can it last?

T-1

Star keeper Tivey messages: a thumb injury means he can only play wearing gloves so the other five keepers on tour will have to give way if we want him to play (which we do).

T- Morning

On doctor’s advice we lose a bowler for Sunday. Rejig things and add myself to Sunday team (hardly like for like but the only option available) and hastily book Didcot Premier Inn for Saturday night.

T-Friday

10 Mandarins arrive early at Horspath CC (only Arvind is MIA). Opposition dribble in and head straight for bar. Several of them are stuck in chaos on A34. It’s already getting dark. FFTMCC bat. Inspired captaincy ensures they are soon in trouble as Dan rips through the top order including removing Lord Lucan and then skipper Spam to a fine boundary catch by Andy (surprising himself as much as everyone else). We keep things generally under control and 135 looks gettable. Professor Peter Heather, who arrived brandishing the Mandarin guide to grounds 1988, looks as aggressive as he did when he last played 25 years ago without quite the same pace and somewhat less hair.

A Fine start sees us ahead of the rate. Mills is on form before getting bowled by a straight one just before obligatory retirement. We should be cruising but of course we aren’t. Wickets are falling with only Peter holding firm, alternating wild misses with wild swats. Gemma gives her father LBW for a golden duck. The sun sets and the bats appear. Last over and 6 needed. 3 off 3 and 9 down when Dan goes. Tour Manager at 11 cannot see the bowler let alone the ball. Two chancy singles and it is the fourth tie in Mandarin history with Peter close to his best ever score on 29 not out (what does that say about how the standard of Mandarin cricket has progressed over his 25 year absence?)    

Three matches now against FFTMCCCC, each one a tight classic. Plenty of beers and what Dan reckoned was a top Thai at the local pub for some. Nothing not to like.

T-Saturday

Erratics are clearly up for it having never beaten us and have selected a strong team. In pub pre-match Mystic Baker predicts turncoat Thomson with take 5 for 27. Mandarins bat first. 10 there on time. Jonathan reverting to pre-Chairman form is missing on the M2/M25 (it’s a long drive from Rochester). Against less than fearsome bowling, a succession of players manage to get themselves out. The strategy of hitting the ball in the air and/or taking quick runs to the artist that is Sam Cook proves distinctly ill advised. Only Paul again stands firm for 30+, after each flashing four scanning the boundary to ensure that Fortune has seen it. Jim’s mystery/mysterious/mystic spin is unplayable and he only misses the Baker prediction by a run or two and because of a dropped catch.

Jim strips to his waste and bare-chested marches around the ground in celebration.

140 doesn’t look enough. Chaves F and D knock off half of them untroubled except by Gemma’s sharp turn. Andy drops a sitter and surprises no-one. A couple of wickets but the Erratics are toying with us as they move to their 999^th win.

Pints, pizzas, Japanese and friendly banter at the Six Bells. Happily no injuries and we still have a 11 for Sunday. Weather forecast has improved. Tour Manager unwisely begins to relax.

T-Sunday

To Harwell for the final match. Dan agrees 35 overs a side. 10 Mandarins are ready on time. Jonathan is lost somewhere on the troublesome A34 (it’s not a long drive from Oxford). Chris Healey wants to bat low down because of a hand injury. Bob is still sporting strapping to the hand but otherwise things look good. Harwell bat. Sam Keayes playing his one match of the year bowls well taking 3 wickets. Chris bowls exceptionally well. But then the two Gallington brothers get going. Dan takes some tap. Catches go down. Irregular bowlers Jules and Drew keep things just under control. Tim at last gets a Gallington and with one end opened up we keep them to a competitive total of 155. But the injuries are mounting. David’s excellent fielding display leaves him with a damaged hand and only able to bat in extremis.

Tony and Tim open against tight bowling. A steady start before Tony hobbles off injured (the opposition kindly declining Tim’s attempt to run him out in the process). Jonathan joins Tim. Some distinctly Sunday bowling allows them to progress steadily before Jonathan also has to hobble off. Bob joins Tim. Tim attempts to run Bob out repeatedly but being the wise old figure he is (and having been run out by Peter Heather on Friday) Bob will have none of it. The four batsmen register a 100 partnership. We should cruise it from here. Though Mystic Graeme on Whats App puts Harwell at 80% on Winviz.

Graeme look to have it right. Tim goes for an excellent 68. Drew told that he is on 999 Mandarin runs strides out to get his thousand. Dan has his camera ready in time to catch Drew turning swiftly round and returning still on 999. Harwell’s League opening bowlers (The Gadlington Brothers again) come on. While technically we are 5 down there is only one fit “batsman” in Dan still to come in. With Chris H and Jules now in the middle facing the Gadlingtons it suddenly looks like proper cricket. 4 to win off the last over. 3 off 3. The fifth tie in Mandarin history? No, an elegant Jules cover drive seals the win.

More beer and banter with Coardy, Boagey et al. Awards are handed out. Dan ungratefully nominates the Tour Manager for “Dick of the Day” for missing a screamer of a slip chance off his bowling. But is only supported by Drew “Judas” Somerville. Another excellent game against an opposition who plays the game like it should be played. We are invited back for 2023.

John Hawkins

ps.  Not sure whose © the picture are: do tell me if they're yours and want acknowledgment etc.

From Inauspicious Beginnings …

Mandarins vs Goldleaf CC: Dulwich sports club 7/8/22 

From inauspicious beginnings  …

So to Dulwich from the corners of the earth (well the Gulf and the Scottish islands – see below) to play short notice oppo Goldleaf in a balmy 27 degrees. Another record for the archivist: the first oppo to start off as a darts team?

Dan had found Goldleaf by putting out a web appeal for a ‘weak to medium strength’ friendly club. So there were muttered comments when Rob took himself off after going for 8 boundaries from 3 perfectly respectable overs. And although Satish and Zac slowed the scoring to something north of  60 for 0 off 10 overs, it was not looking good (compounded by late arrival Matt – having completed a 45 minute circumnavigation of Dulwich with his long suffering girlfriend in search of the pitch - going off injured, his hangover from the previous night’s mess ball exacerbated by taking a firm drive on the point of his knee.)

We then dropped two catches, both off Zac. Jarvis in the slips had obviously failed to acclimatise to the change from 45 degree heat in the gulf (change in temperature changes the ball trajectory), from whence he had jetted in the day before. And your correspondent had similarly struggled with the transition from 16 degrees on Mull (though the  interval training between deep fine leg and deep backward square at the end of each over had also taken its toll).

Cometh the hour, cometh the Chairman. With diplomatic skills worthy of David Brent he moved me from deep backward square to point ‘to save me from so much running’ putting Dan Taylor in my place. It would have been nice to have been told this before I had arrived at deep backward square! Two balls later the same Dan T took a fine running catch, which I wouldn’t have got close to, and the come back was on. 

Satish promptly removed the other opener lbw, and then two wickets fell quickly. 15 year old son was about to be given not out to a Satish strangle when he shouted, ‘its OK, it only hit my glove’. Dad then followed bowled by Zac off a bottom edge when the ball was going over: not their family’s day (see below for the younger sister). We started taking our chances, Matt returning to the field with a juggle at fly slip, and Rakesh taking a c and b steepler when he was the furthest of 3 mandarins from the ball and a pile up looked all but inevitable. Even I caught one. Dan F bowled 10 consecutive dot balls, the batsmen having never seen anything that slow.

Two well deserved wickets each to DanF and Rakesh, and although there was some hard hitting the final score of 180 for 8 dec looked about par on a reasonable pitch with a quick outfield and short straight boundaries. And well below the 300-1 we had been fearing. The excellent tea tasted all the better for that.

The Mandarins innings opened surprisingly calmly. Jarvis, acclimatisation complete and jet lag receding, took part in his second opening 50 stand of the season, before he (25) and Dan  T (19) departed having seen off the pacy openers and hit some lusty blows.   Zac and Satish took advantage of early drops to accelerate, Zac’s 67 – which saw him covered in dust and with an elbow doubly lacerated from a dive in the field and another to make his ground – was the innings of the day with some big hits.

Not even a vigorous debate in the field about whether a ball hitting an allegedly overhanging branch of  a tree planted outside the rope on the full was a 4 or a 6 – with Canterbury being mistakenly quoted in support of the 4 – could halt the progression. When Satish (31) and Zac fell we staged a mini collapse, but Arvind’s failure to emulate his early season golden ducks and Matt’s unexpected winning hit with a drive over extra cover (he didn’t know he had it in him, as testified by a fine victory dance!) let to victory by 5 wickets with a couple of overs to go.

The report would not be complete without tribute to a friendly oppo and some good banter over Zac’s jug. Finally, a shout out to the oppo’s number 11, younger sister/daughter from the aforementioned family, who faithfully jogged from deep fine leg to deep fine leg at the end of each over clad all in black, and with the temperature by then touching 30 – an increase in pocket money, or these days some extra mobile data, seems in order.

Martin Hurst

Mandarin Selectors Vindicated as Arvind Returns to Form

The pressure on the Mandarin selectors to drop Arvind after an unprecedented run of four golden ducks was immense but the great and the good decided to stand by him (the fact that we have issues getting eleven players of any sort together at the best of times may have been a factor in his continued selection). But whatever their thinking the selectors loyalty was vindicated as Arvind steered the Mandarins home in a tightly fought battle against Mickleham in the Surrey Hills.

The new 2022 version of Chairman Jonathan was in Mickleham an hour early to inspect the pitch (brown with craters outside the left-hander’s off-stump) and then base himself at the Running Horses pub with a broccoli tempura from which viewpoint he could count his players in. Unfortunately there were only 10 Mandarins to count, a late golfing injury apparently responsible for the missing eleventh.

 

The Mickleham eleven looked rather Mandarin like with a good mix of youth and experience but turned out to be more cosmopolitan than you might expect in leafy Surrey including a couple of South Africans, an Aussie umpire, a Canadian base-ball player playing his second ever game and a much-capped Cameroonian international all-rounder. 35 overs a side was agreed.  Jonathan won the toss and given he had four frontline bowlers and not an excess of batting talent, he decided to bowl.

 

The pitch offered good bounce to start with. Both Heard and Eastaway begun well, Rob getting notable swing at times. Indeed it was Rob who got the first wicket before a stunning run-out by Zac to dismiss the opposition captain. His diving stop and throw left both batsmen standing shocked in the middle of the pitch. A second wicket for Rob followed, but the Mickleham South African all-rounder was by now getting going and a decent total looked to be on the cards. A surprise tropical shower arrived in time for drinks (the first time play has been interrupted by rain for some while). The dangerous Cameroonian, who was aiming to hit every ball he faced into the neighbouring field, was bowled by a Zac beauty and at the other end Rakesh was getting into his rhythm, recognising that he owed the team a wicket or two given that he had only managed to select ten players. Indeed Rakesh bowled beautifully as it became clear that Mickleham’s lower order was not the strongest. Jonathan gambled that we could get them all out before he had to find a fifth bowler from somewhere and his gamble came off with Rakesh ending up with six wickets, the final one the Canadian who decided to leave his first ball which was full and on middle stump (perhaps not realising that you only get one strike in cricket). The South African was left not out on 53 and only 26 overs were used. 136 felt just below par for the pitch.

 

Mandarin fielding was mixed and a number of chances were avoided or went down.  To be fair to the fielders involved (mostly me) they were all pretty sharp (whatever Chris Baker thinks). Rakesh worked out quickly that if he wanted to get the batsmen out caught, then he should do it himself.

 

The tea deserves a write up of its own: iced buns, cup-cakes, a wide variety of sandwiches and a lovely cake made by the Cameroonian’s French partner (“it is a french lemon cake not a lemon drizzle cake: we do not have such a thing in France”).

 

The Cameroonian international turned out to be pretty decent and clearly hadn’t been slowed down by his partner’s gateaux de citron. Aided by some decent catching (including a blinding slip catch and a sharp take by the Canadian standing at second base) we were soon in trouble at an effective 42 for 5 with the cream of our top order back in the hutch exposing the legendary Mandarin soggy middle. But cometh the hour, cometh Arvind. Buoyed by the trust the selectors had placed in him, he batted in a composed and responsible way against mostly decent bowling on a pitch that was demonstrating increasingly variable bounce . He held the chase together in partnerships of 23 with Chris Mckeon, 47 with Rakesh and 15 with your correspondent. As we neared victory the Mickleham ground fielding rather fell apart. The run rate was never really an issue and Rob and Arvind completed the job with an over to spare, Rob hitting the winning runs leaving Arvind not out on 49.

 

A very satisfactory day was finished off in pleasant fashion at the Running Horses with Zac upholding Mandarin honour by performing like a natural in the Malibu Delivery Mechanism challenge (confirming his status as a genuine all-rounder). His nomination a fine selection by the Chairman on a day where he got the big decisions right making a leadership challenge less likely for now at least. The Mandarins go 7-7. Odds on a winning season anyone?

John Hawkins

Closely Matched and Close Together

Mandarins lost to Heber Nomads by three wickets - 10 July 2022

Mandarins beat Streatham and Marlborough CC Midweek XI by 24 runs - 13 July 2022

Two Dulwich fixtures, two lovely grounds, two tight games, two debutantes and two different results. Quirks of the fixture list also meant that our only two games in an otherwise six-week window were also only a couple of days apart. A brief rainfall of friendly cricket amid the drought, you might say. And both were certainly hot enough days to necessitate two drinks breaks amid each 35-over innings.

Winning the toss and batting first against Heber at Dulwich Prep, skipper Eastaway's side were reliant on a brutal and brutally effective innings from the sadly lesser-spotted Robin Pharoah. His 86 contained 14 boundaries, five of which were sixes. Which was a good job, as he wasn't very interested in running many, despite bravely batting in a smart watch in order to track his step count. But also a good job because he didn't get much other support in our 172-9 - despite Arvind finally escaping from his run of golden ducks - other than from Ramani's 22 and a highly entertaining and encouraging debut from his young son Sonny (who scored a run to match each of his 10 years). Entertaining both for Sonny's ambitious shot selection (a reverse sweep being a particular highlight) and his even more ambitious attempts to encourage his father into taking on a few more singles. Encouraging in that Sonny's enjoyment of the day might mean we see a bit more of both father and son in future months and years.

Unfortunately for us the Heber Nomads had an even more brutally effective opener of their own. Alex Frankpitt's 92 containing 17 boundaries, six of which were sixes. That brought little respite for any of the bowlers, brought his opening partner and sometime Mandarin Sam Brand ample time to eventually escape his own run of ducks, and brought the target of 173 well within reach by the time he was eventually caught in the deep. At that stage the time format meant our best chance was going to be taking all 10 wickets, and for a while the pressure was on and more Mandarin men and boys were gathering around the Heber bats. But Borthwick (34*) and Smith were impervious to the pressure and saw it home with a handful of balls and three wickets to spare.

Three days later we were back on a different but equally charming Dulwich field to take on the Streatham and Marlborough Midweek XI. Once more there were some familiar faces on the opposition, including our own Owen Jackson, and a debutant on our side, in the form of Satish Parthasarathy (slightly older than Sonny but equally talented, just as nice and, most importantly, keen to play more for us in the future). Stand in skipper Tunbridge won the toss and wisely elected to bat, while your correspondent and supposed captain WhatsApp'd an order from his Uber, which probably isn't a sentence that made many Mandarins match reports in previous generations. Speaking of which, it was also nice to have the lesser-spotted Jeremy Jarvis (27 - runs that is, not years) back at the crease, and he and Baxter (33) were diligent in seeing off the new ball and taking us past 50 for the first wicket. Arvind, Stan, Rob and Harry chipped in and Satish added 31* more, taking us to a perhaps bang on par 176-7 from our 35.

After what was possibly too good a tea (if such a thing can exist) in which second helpings were impossible to resist but energy in the field then even harder to summon, Eastaway nonetheless removed the Streatham openers and the younger Formen chipped away at the middle order. They were never far behind the required run rate though and had Haris (41*) had a partner stay with him until the death it might have got squeaky. But a couple of run outs, and a couple of wickets from Satish (who joined the wicket in his first over for the club club, if not the first ball for the club club) kept us on top, before Baxter finished it off with his first and only ball of the match.

Two good oppos, good games, two very similar scores, two different outcomes. But one satisfied feeling of having got a good bit of Mandarins cricket in in good company.

Dan Forman

https://mandarins.play-cricket.com/website/results/5415505

https://mandarins.play-cricket.com/website/results/5465163

Twenty-20 Format to Our Liking Once Again

MANDARINS VS DEFRA AGRICOLA, WEDNESDAY 22 JUNE 2022

There has been some debate about whether the Mandarins should adopt more of the new England approach of unbridled positivity. Certainly Dan “Baz” Forman was seeking to channel that spirit with his team talk before our latest 20:20 game at Chiswick, addressing a surprisingly large number of Mandarins who had managed to negotiate travel problems to be there before 6pm. Only one was absent, of which more anon.

I am a bit hazy about who won the toss, or even if there was one. In any case Defra batted first. Joey Hale and Martin Hurst opened the bowling, and both caused problems. Martin got a ball to leap and George Warren behind the stumps took an excellent catch, and Martin followed this up by clean-bowling the next batsman. Joey dismissed the other opener, courtesy of an excellent catch by Matt Brown, keeping his cool to take a skied top edge. Forman then called upon the leg-spinning duo of Baker and Baxter. Defra’s Number 4 duly got to 25* courtesy of Baxter’s full tosses - in my defence it emerged that the pitch was set up for juniors and was only about 19 yards long. Thereafter wickets fell steadily, as Forman and Lowin made inroads.

Finally, our 11^th man arrived – one Andy Heard, who had had a hellish journey, courtesy of GWR and TfL. There is an old adage that you should never upset a fast bowler, and it obviously applies to Andy as well, as he proceeded to bowl fast (well it was a very short pitch) and straight to take 3 wickets for 1 run, all bowled, the final wicket seeing the middle stump removed from the ground.

The target was only 100, but we take nothing for granted in the Mandarins. David Williams and George Warren opened; David proceeded to play extremely well off his legs, as befits a keen hockey player. There was a brief flurry of excitement on the boundary: had we ever had a significant batting partnership where one batter scored all his runs on the leg-side and the other on the off? The archivist complained that the available data could not resolve the issue and then David ruined the speculation with a cover-riven four. David duly retired on 25*.

George was well caught and bowled for 16 and there was a brief wobble with both Matt Brown and Jamie Brockbank being bowled cheaply (Jamie in particular can be excused, given sleepless nights with new daughter, for which many congratulations are in order). But this brought Joey Hale and Jules Lowin together who proceeded to take us to the target with seven overs to spare, Joey reaching 25 with the winning runs.  A very satisfying game against a good opposition and another cracking victory for Baz Forman, last seen heading to the bar to commiserate with the opposition.

TIM BAXTER

Yes, It's Ask the Umpire Week

MANDARINS 116 all out. WEEKENDERS. 117 for 5.

Welcome to the latest episode of ‘Ask The Umpire’.  We’ve had three questions sent in this week, all from the same match in Dulwich.

1. It is the fifth ball of the innings.  The opening bowler has so far sent down four harmless deliveries that are wide of off stump, but the next one is on a full length, keeps fairly low and strikes the batsman on the back pad roughly in line with middle stump.  How long can the umpire delay raising his finger, before the ball is deemed to be dead?
   
   
2. The batsman scuffs a ball towards backward short leg and sets off for a single.  Sensing an opportunity for a run out, the keeper flings off his gloves so he can pick up the ball and hurl it at the stumps. However the right glove inadvertently lands on the ball and the batsmen complete the single.  What should the umpire signal?
   
   
3. The batsman plays back to a ball that is on a good length, and somehow blocks the ball with some combination of bat, glove and pad (it’s hard to tell from the boundary, but something definitely looked and sounded a bit odd).  The bowler appeals and the umpire gives the batsman out lbw.  What happens next?

Answers at the end of this report.

Meanwhile, to the match itself.  Wilmot loses the toss and Mandarins are inserted, but would have batted anyway.  Wilmot is salivating at the chance to try out one of his “experiments”, in this case getting the same two Mandarins to open the batting AND the bowling.  The helmeted H.Forman and R.Eastaway go out to bat.  Two overs later the score is 0 for 2.  It’s an experiment that probably won’t be repeated.

In at number 3 is Rob Elias, one of a long line of Heber Dads who have now played for the Mandarins.  He is joined by Tunbridge and both look confident, but out of nowhere Tunbridge is defeated by a swinging yorker and is bowled for 6.  In walks Sam Brand, who usually opens the batting, but with two ducks to his name so far this season he’s been put in at number five.  His first ball is a swinging yorker that goes between bat and pad.  Make that three ducks in a row.  Sam and Arvind are thinking of setting up a support group.

Soon afterwards Chris McKeon is also cleaned bowled - but at least he smacked a boundary first. 25 for 5.  Enter Hawkins.  Some rebuilding of the innings begins, which has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that the sharp and accurate opening bowlers have been taken off and replaced by some lobbed cannon fodder.  Still, you can only play with the cards you’ve been dealt.  An imperious innings of 42 by Elias finally comes to an end after the distraction of a drinks break, but Hawkins clings on like a limpet and the Mandarins claw their way to 116 all out.

Can 116 be defended? Eastaway and H.Forman keep things fairly tight, the ball regularly beating the bat, but alas missing the stumps. Only one wicket is taken in the first ten overs.  Forman D replaces Forman H, and the slower pace induces batsman Chagule to have a swing, and Tunbridge takes a fine catch at cow corner.  Alas after a flurry of long hops and full tosses in the next two overs, the Weekenders are up to 68.  Wickets are desperately needed.  On comes Baker.  Wilmot sends Elias to field at short mid wicket - left a bit…right a bit…yes, there. The ball is short, the left handed batsman’s eyes light up and he heaves across the line.  The fielders’ eyes have already panned across to the mid wicket boundary, but wait, somehow a diving Elias has leaped to his left and taken an absolute blinder of a one-handed catch.  Even the batsman applauds him.

Alas it’s too little too late, and although Stan and Dan Forman each nab a wicket, Weekenders get home comfortably with five wickets and 14 overs to spare.

Another friendly game against like-minded opponents, but our record at the lovely Trevor Bailey ground this season is grim: Played 2, Lost 2 (by a lot).

ASK THE UMPIRE - ANSWERS

1. About 30 seconds. To be fair, the umpire (Hawkins) had many factors to take into account:
   
   
• He remembers that this bowler was pretty erratic last year and doesn’t tend to bowl straight balls.
• the ball is moving a bit in the air and off the seam, so surely it must have been missing either leg or off stump,
• the batsman is Harry Forman, and we need him to score some runs, and:
• it’s only the fifth ball of the innings FFS - too early to raise the finger.  But overriding all of this was the fact that it is absolutely plumb.
  
  
2. The umpire (Tunbridge) correctly applies Law 28.2.1.3 ‘The fielder will be deemed to have fielded the ball illegally if, while the ball is in play he/she willfully discards a piece of clothing or any other object which subsequently makes contact with the ball.’  The umpire awards five (much needed) penalty runs to the batting team.  The batsman who completed the run, Hawkins, is awarded a single.  Pleas from Hawkins that the five bonus runs should also be credited to his personal tally are rightly ignored.
   
   
3. The batsman (Hawkins again) stands with an aggrieved look, holding up his bat and pointing to the face of it. The umpire (Tunbridge again) correctly ignores the batsman’s complaint, and the batsman starts to walk off the pitch, still chuntering and doing Marcel Marceau impressions of a batsman who clearly nicked it.  Wishing to avoid a diplomatic incident with somebody who chose diplomacy as his career, the opposition graciously acknowledge that there probably had been an edge, and the batsman returns to the crease.

So how did you get on?  Three points and you are well on the way to becoming an ICC match referee.

Rob Eastaway

 

Red Kites Scent Blood at Brightwell

TRIUMPH FOR TIMED CRICKET ENTHUSIASTS IN MANDARINS TIME vs OVERS CONTROVERSY!

MANIAN SPIRAL OF DOOM CONTINUES

Mandarins 150 all out off 37.1 overs (Baxter 61) lost to Brightwell-cum-Sotwell 151 for 9 off 28.3 overs (Ramani 4 for 33) by one wicket.

After four consecutive failures to play the fixture over three years, we finally managed to get 11 cricketers to Brightwell almost on time, and amidst much muttering played a timed game. One of the BCS players put it succinctly at the start: "I didn't drive all the way from London for a boring draw." Pah! We did.

The Red Kite (Milvus Milvus) eats mainly carrion and worms, but is described by the RSPB as "opportunistic." The sight of a lot of old men dressed in white staggering erratically was clearly seen by the local population as an opportunity, and they swooped very low around us all afternoon.

Chairman Jonathan consulted all the players in the middle about whether to bat or bowl. Bowlers said bowl, batters said bat. He batted. The pitch played as it always has - very low at the Glendenning end, erratic bounce at the Forster end. Cricket is often called a sideways on game, but when Tim Baxter plays it can also sometimes be a horizontal one. Tim swung, missed and collapsed on numerous occasions, was hit on the helmet but declined the concussion test. We were deeply indebted to his effort on a day when scoring was never easy.  Next highest effort was Zac with 18. The limited over brigade seemed convinced that the Mandarins top order were making the draw inevitable by slow scoring but a slump from 81-3 to 130 for 8 meant that Jonathan never had to give consideration to his declaration.

Anticipation was intense as Arvind, batting no 7, made his way to the middle on a run of three golden ducks. In a replay of his previous dismissal he toppled forward and was stumped first ball. Umpire Jonathan, torn with compassion, briefly contemplated the largest diplomatic incident since body line, but eventually raised the finger in the face of pretty incontrovertible evidence. So Arvind's count rises to four........*

As usual when Brightwell batted the game started to look very different. The openers quickly moved to 80 before Nik Kulkarni shook off the rust of two years and made the break through. BCS moved on to 106 for one, then Rakesh brought a measure of control and pressure suddenly shifted. Four wickets fell for 6 runs, two each for Nik and Rakesh, and we had an opening. Then Nik bowled an over too many, hit straight for 20, and Brightwell back in the driving seat with only 19 needed. Then another twist as Brightwell showed Mandarinesque lack of application and lost another four for 14, Raki pressurising and Arvind, given the chance of redemption, rising to the challenge and getting a couple ( at least, in his view) to set up a thrilling finish as five were needed by the last wicket. More nervy shots, playing and missing, then a full toss smeared through mid wicket to secure the win. End of another dull timed game, with 13 overs to spare!

*Arvind's four golden ducks is undoubtedly a Mandarins record, although it will have to remain provisional in view of missing data. Only four other players (three of them active) have scored 3 consecutive zeros in the past 15 years, but few of these will have been golden. No one has got four in a row, let alone goldens. Rooting for you in the next innings, Arv!

Chris Baker