One of the sad symptoms of long-covid has been the slow death of the classic cricket tea. Happily Brill, a picturesque village in the hills near Oxford, are raging against the dying of the light. But more of that later, the day also involved some cricket.
Mandarin Captains all too often face the sort of challenges that Ben Stokes never faces. Chris McKeon had selected the most eclectic eleven of ten. This included Will and Nathaniel Heather who had never before played a competitive game of cricket, five wicket-keepers and at a push four bowlers. On top of this, and perhaps less surprising, Jonathan was running late stuck in Rochester with car battery issues and then delayed by roadworks on the M2. Happily Brill’s captain, the famously big hitting Andy Parke was very willing to be flexible so we agreed on 35 overs a side with a maximum of 9 overs a bowler and the Mandarins batting first. He stressed that most of his team were in their 40s (most Mandarins were in their 60s) and they had two people playing their first senior game (we had two playing their first ever game) so it should be an even match. (I wasn’t convinced).
Openers Chris H and Shahrukh were told to bat properly, get to 50 and retire. Chris did that in style. Shahrukh chased the first, wide, short ball from a 17 year old opening bowler on debut and chopped on. But both David Williams and Chris M scored decent 20s against very mixed, very slow bowling. After Chris H had retired, the pace dropped a bit but a series of Heather cameos got us to 143. The opposition were highly sceptical of the claim that Nathaniel and Will had never played before after Nathaniel smacked his first ball over extra cover and followed that up with a flashing drive for four while Will steadily accumulated at the other end for 10 not out (as befits a FCDO civil servant). Given a good pitch, Andy “the big show” Parke, two other top league bats and a short boundary on one side it felt 40 or so short.
But then to the tea: home made sponge cake, warm sausage rolls, cocktail sausages, more varieties of sandwiches that you could shake a stick at, brownies, scones with cream and jam, proper mugs of builders etc etc. Andy was in his element (and was spotted after the match slipping back for fourths or fifths).
By now the crowd had gathered outside the village hall and the bar was doing good business. The sun was shining and there was a gentle breeze blowing. Perfect day for cricket even for a Mandarin ten weighed down by carbohydrate, chocolate, cream and pork.
League bats Sweetman and Parke J opened for Brill and were clearly in no mood to hang around but Andy then had Parke J very well caught by Chris M and bowled the Brill number three. But this just brought Parke A to the crease and he started smacking it around as usual. There was some relief when he retired and we got a grip on the run rate during the middle overs courtesy of Shahrukh (who got better over by over) and “Bionic” David Williams bowling for the first time for years after a shoulder re-build. But we made the mistake of taking too many wickets and Parke A returned and that was pretty well that.
We needed to get two of their three good bats out to have a chance but managed only the one. Parke A gave one quarter chance early on to Nathaniel when he hit an Andy full toss full pace at head height to him on the leg-side boundary: “the first time I have had a cricket ball hit to me a game”. Happily Nathaniel took it in his stride. Indeed a big shout out to both younger Heathers for excellent fielding that put most of the rest of us to shame (Will even took a catch). Luckily they didn’t look to their father for guidance. To be fair Prof Heather had taken a decent catch but late on was wandering back to long-off thinking of the lecture he was due to deliver later that evening when he turned and saw that Sweetman had rifled a Healey deliver straight at him. The look of surprise and panic was obvious from the other end of the ground.....
Brill’s scorer reckoned we have been visiting them for at least 55 years. It is certainly one of our oldest fixtures (Chris B can no doubt advise). A proper village game against a great bunch. Hopefully we can get 11 next year if only for the tea (or for the real ale on tap in the bar). But every cloud has a silver lining and Nathaniel and Will’s debut was certainly that. Hopefully we will see them again soon.
John Hawkins
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