Much Ado About Numbers*

Mandarins  113 for 8 (35 overs)
Charlatans 114 for 8 (30.3 overs)

As always, it’s all about the numbers. With the delightful Greenwich Park cricket ground bathed in unexpected sunshine, Mandarins lose the toss and are asked to bat, despite the opposition still being two players short. 

Skipper Hawkins has some early decisions to make. 

• Opening batsmen?  Healey and Baxter (Wilmot and Brand both delayed by having to find parking spots). 
• Should we offer the oppos two fielders? No!  Well, OK, we will, but only for a couple of overs, and both should be aged over 60.  To be fair, that’s the majority of the team.  Hurst & Hawkins do the honours.
• And finally, who should write the match report?  Yours truly is appointed before a ball has been bowled, an unusual break with convention.

Another week of rain has left a pitch that is a pudding.  The bounce is reliably low, the ball rarely climbing above half stump height.  With tight Charlatan bowling, it takes the skills of a batsman with 9,996 Mandarins runs to his name to be able to repeatedly nurdle the ball to backward point where, astonishingly, there is no fielder.  Make that 10,000+ runs to his name, a record that will surely never be surpassed.

36 for 0 off eleven overs is a solid foundation, but myriad-man Healey (16) is then yorked trying to force the pace. Baxter (16) follows soon after, lofting a drive – right tactic, but picked out the fielder.  Long boundaries and a slow outfield mean that the only way to hit fours is to wait for full tosses.  Alas these are in short supply.  It’s the 25^th over before the ball first reaches the boundary (“Is this a record?” wonders our archivist) as Brand and ‘anchor’ Wahaj put on 52 with growing confidence.   101 for 3 with five overs to go, and it’s time to launch the offensive.  An offensive that immediately fizzles.  Brand (23) is lbw to a scudder, top scorer Wahaj (32) is caught, and we limp to an underwhelming 113 for 8.

But on this pitch, maybe 113 is competitive.  We just have to avoid bowling full tosses.  And for the first 17 overs, that’s pretty much what we achieve.  Straight bowling and fine catches from Baxter, Wahaj and Healey (at cow corner) mean that when we break for drinks, the Charlatans innings lies in tatters, at roughly 45 for 6, effectively 45 for 7 because their opening bat had earlier headed to A&E after landing on his shoulder, which meant we wouldn’t be seeing him again.

Alas, whatever is in the drinks damages the Mandarins length radar.  Boundaries begin to flow, and before we know it the target is 40….30…20, with plenty of overs to spare and only one more wicket taken, a catch off Nikhil.  Hawkins makes the bold decision to take the pace off the ball by replacing Wahaj with Baxter.  And despite a first ball full toss (a forgivable loosener) it seems the right choice.  A couple of false shots, a near catch at mid wicket, there is hope.  Charlatans nudge up to 112 for 7 – then Tee is clean bowled for 14.  112 for 8, last man in.  Aman keeps out Baxter.  Then Healey bowls a tight maiden over to Bhuvi.  Still hope.  Baxter to Aman – he pushes a single to mid off.  Could it still be a tie?  Alas no, as Bhuvi (48*) lofts the next one over mid on, and celebrates victory.  A victory that 45 minutes earlier had seemed certain to be ours.

Rob Eastaway  (7-3-8-5)

*that’s enough gratuitous book plugs - Ed